Weekly Wasteland Opinion

Subcultures With The Largest Victim Complex: Juggalos

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Subcultures are defined by the beliefs of those who persecute them. These oppositions, real or imagined, are the glue which binds people together under a common cause, fandom, or religion. Indeed, oppression not only seems to be the catalyst for such mergings, but also the frothy mucilage of misery that welds them together.

Therefore, it’s only natural that these herds, some more-so than others, would settle into the cozy womb that is perpetual victimhood. In the following segment, Weekly Wasteland will detail a few of the worst offenders in this self-serving cycle of martyrdom, shared delusion, and mob mentality.


Juggalos

Juggalos are a cult-like organization who use criminal activities as a method of worship. From human trafficking to dope pushing, these walking pustules can generally be found occupying your local trailer park, 7/11, or anywhere incest and Faygo are in close proximity.

Juggalos, and Juggalettes (the female alternative to a Juggalo, usually involved in prostitution and baby farming), act as willful servants to a nefarious hellscape known as the “Dark Carnival.” Their aim is to create as much pain, chaos and hardship in the world so as to be accepted into Shangri-La upon death; a sort of “Juggalo Heaven”, if you will, where rape and PCP are not only legal, but considered a virtue.

These hatchet wielding maniacs attempt to disrupt and overwhelm the precious financial resources provided by our federal government with fraudulent requests for welfare and other taxpayer-funded benefits. They then use these ill-gotten SSI monies and food stamps to buy narcotics and useless ICP paraphernalia, essentially laundering cash back into the pockets of their living deities, Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J.

Ironically, and hypocritically, Juggalos live to be the victims of so-called “persecution.” When the FBI justifiably labeled their criminal empire as a “gang”, wilder beast-like cries could be heard in shit-stained single-wides all across the country, as now they would find it more difficult to slip through the cracks of the legal system, and likewise earn those additional gang related charges they so rightfully deserve.

It is their life’s goal to be abhorred as it only serves to validate their egotistical delusions of a world that “just doesn’t understand them”, when in reality, it’s their violent, drug-addled tendencies which make humanity pause and sneer at these revolting Juggalo atrocities.

Eugene Laurence

About Eugene Laurence

Eugene grew up in a simpler time where men were men, and women were women. There wasn't all this damn gender confusion and sexual liberation. Nobody knows who or what the hell they are anymore! I'm sick of it! I served this country for 20 years of my life, only to have you prancin' around in your damn fairy clothes, tellin' people you're "gender fluid" WHATEVER THE HELL THAT MEANS...
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